Why Good Girls Have Become Unicorns rebuttal

Unicorn costumeThis best part about this article was that as I was trying to find it again this morning I typed in “men looking for unicorns” and some of my top google searches were about men looking for actual unicorns. HA!
Here’s the real article:
And the response piece referred to from the article

My response: from the REAL UNICORN:  Proof seen on the left.

1) Really??
2) Wait.  Really?  Heavy sigh of sadness.

Let’s talk about sex:   Does this author not recognize that there is actually some grey area from: sleeping with everybody, wanting tons of no strings attached sex, threesomes at the hostel.. to virginity.  Connecting a woman’s worth to her sexual habits and appearance is as old as human kind.  America is indeed a sex and female body obsessed nation. It is hard to escape that.   Most cultures are.  Some cultures see power in covering up, some see power in uncovering.  The problem is not with the clothing or sexual habits of women, it’s the worth and value of that woman who is attached to it while ignoring everything else about her that makes her worthwhile as a person.  It is impossible to escape the culture and laws and constraints of a society that surround you.  Want to wear something sexy out at night and a guy says something rude to you? Your fault.  A guy rapes a woman? She must have been dressed provocatively.  We all know men are just walking sex freaks just waiting for a little extra leg to be shown before they lose control.  And that sexy outfit?  Certainly it must be worn because that woman is ‘broken’,   not a lady that you could settle down with.  Herein lies the problem.  Some women do try to conform to these standards and structures around them and dress to fit the part.  Some women do sleep with men and find themselves waking up the next day feeling bad about it, that they did it for him to like her, which is an empty and impossible task to ‘get’ someone via shallow reasons.  Some women choose not to have sex because they don’t want to disgrace an ideal that they were raised on, their virginal status gives them value as a human both externally and internally.  For some, the act and very idea that women should get pleasure through sex and or self pleasure is sacrilege.  But in the face of this massive cultural backlash against women who have and enjoy sex,  some women choose to, and they are happy with their choices.   This is no better or worse than a woman who chooses for herself that that is not for her.  The mere act of sex is not degrading and unhealthy.  Sex can be unhealthy, when done for the wrong reasons, but inherently it is not.  It’s more important for people to understand themselves, what they want from their partner(s), what hurts them, and what makes them happy.

The man stereotype: This article is as stereotypical of men as it is of women.

“For men, it’s great that these women have decided to become just like us. They’ve taken the male approach to sex and the way we treat the other gender. It is almost like they have become a mirror image of men in our love for a multitude of partners….Sure, we may seem dumb when we are chasing smuts, but when we do actually want to settle down with a female, she has to meet the standards that we have for a girl with whom we want to settle down.”

It must be great for guys to have it so easy.  Just sleepin around, enjoying their wild days and then looking far and wide for a woman who can meet their high standards to finally give them the pleasure of settling down with them.   I don’t think all men crave endless partners and drool over half-naked women until they are ‘ready to settle down’ and then all of sudden that idea that they are ready for commitment makes them an awesome human being.   As if commitment was all it took to make a relationship work.  What about compatibility? You can commit the fuck out of someone, doesn’t mean a thing.  They have to actually like you and respect you.  And not all guys sleep around incessantly.  And some would if they could.  There is a difference between wanting to, and actually doing it, does that make it any less worse?  The spectrum of men and their personalities and what they are looking for in women is just as different and complex and varied as that of women’s.  Both this article and the ‘Unicorn’s rebuttal use broad generalizations to describe the genders which are just simply false.  This should read more like a diary entry and his own personal struggles with trying to find a woman.  If I were his therapist I would tell him that you have to be that person to which you are trying to attract.   For both genders.  If you are not the best version of yourself, you are going to attract someone you need to complete you, not to inspire you.  What you do on a daily basis.. is you. You are your habits.   A person with integrity doesn’t pretend they will have it when they need it.  It is what they do.  Who they are.

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About Musings over Coffee

Fitness enthusiast. Love to travel, mess up recipes, ponder random things, get riled up about the news, all of which nearly always coinciding with one of my favorite things in the world: Coffee.
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